Superheroes Need Capes

The joy of helping kids find their confidence, creativity, and value in this world.

“I believe that everyone has a superpower. What would you say yours is?”

It’s the question the host of Diagnostic Guru, the podcast I produce, asks every single guest. It’s also the question that spawned my own self-reflective journey this past summer (read more about that here). It seems like such a throwaway question on the surface, like a girly, fluffy, flip your hair kinda question.

Except it’s not. And that’s not the way our guests approach it.

During the first season of the podcast, I was repeatedly shocked as guest after guest deeply pondered the question, visibly committed to their superpower, and then were notably proud to reveal it. These women stepped into the true essence of those words. They clearly believe in their inherent powers and are prepared to go to battle with that one word as their sword and shield.

And that reaction got me thinking…maybe there’s more to this superpower thing than we realized.

After much curfuffling, I finally landed on my own superpower. It’s authenticity. I love the word. It’s hard to spell and is five whole syllables. I’m nothing if not committed to complication. Even more than the physical letters, what I love most is that it repackages my entire personality into something that’s unequivocally positive.

For the whole of my life, I’ve been told I am “aggressive”, “strong-willed”, have a “big personality”, am “over the top”, “too vocal”, and on and on. To be fair, all of that is true, but none of it was meant as a compliment. Except much of those traits have served me (and others) well, and over time, I’ve learned how to reign in some of the more egregious edges such that these days my intent is more clear and my tone more measured. The years I spent battling the person I was naturally born to be and the person others so clearly thought I should be have made for lots of feelings I work hard to avoid and a complex that vacillates from deep-rooted hurt to fuck you all.

That’s why being able to identify my superpower was such a profound step for me. I started to see all of those negative personality traits through the lens with which I had always intended they be perceived. My strong-willed nature is dedication. My aggressiveness is passion. My big personality is what you see is what you get. I show up, always, as myself, wholly committed, and unwilling to half ass basically anything. I am authentic, to my core, and it is actually the thing that makes me invaluable.

That shift in perspective. That slight adjustment. That having a word, one word, to breathe into when I felt attacked, judged, or misunderstood, WOW that would have been hella helpful to have had growing up! Imagine if I had believed that “my muchness was my magic,” a favorite quote from DG guest, Andrea Mohamed. Imagine if I had understood that my big personality could be both too much for some and spot on for others? And imagine if I had been able to communicate to bosses early in my career, “Hey look, I will work endlessly for you and our team, but I could use some help with my finesse.” Imagine how much easier those performance reviews would have been for them….and me.

Knowing and owning my superpower has been life changing.

And I couldn’t help but wonder if it would be for others too.

So, the scientist in me said “test this.” I started with my kiddo, thinking that would be low stakes. At breakfast one morning, I casually asked her, “Hey, what do you think your superpower is?” I was prepared for the litany of return fire questions that usually accompany any conversation with a seven-year old. Instead, she popped a sugar bomb from her waffle into her mouth, looked up at the ceiling head cocked and replied, “Kindness.” I was floored, but played it cool.

“Kindness, huh?” I said, and shoved a bite of no-sugar, high protein granola in my mouth, terrified I would ruin the moment with more words.

“Yeah,” she said, “Cuz, like, when you’re kind to people, it makes them feel good, and they want to be your friend.”

I about lost it, heart hammering in my chest, and tears threatening, I just nodded. “Makes sense” I whispered, coughing to cover how hard I choked up.

She slapped me on the back forcefully, “Geez, Mom, you can’t talk while you eat.” Aaaaand, the moment was over. But, a seed had been planted.

Maybe kids take their superpowers seriously too. So what would happen if we nudged that along, gave it some air space, and made it cool?

I am not the big idea gal. Historically, I work for those people. Mainly because I’ve found that the big-idea-folk desperately need to partner with an all-the-details person if any of their big ideas are going to go anywhere, and playing that role is how and why I always have a job. So, its unsurprising that when I took this musing to my business partner, the host of DG, she said, “Wouldn’t it be cool if we made superhero capes for kids with their superpowers?”

Ummm, YES, yes it would be cool! In fact, its a brilliant idea! Why didn’t I think of that? Oh yeah, not the big idea gal. BUT, I am the execute efficiently gal, so guess what we started to do that very day? That’s right, figure out how in the hell to make a cape, customize a cape, sell a cape, and deliver a cape. Unsurprisingly, for anyone who has ever worked in product, that turned out to be a smidge more complicated than our original enthusiasm was prepared for.

But, we kept coming back to this growing belief that identifying and owning one’s superpower at a young age helps kids build confidence, make authentic decisions, and trust that what they bring to the world is inherently good.

We couldn’t abandon that.

And so, after much ado about everything, this week we launched the Diagnostic Guru Superpower Cape! Fully customizable superpowers and all the color options are “lit” (some super dumb version of cool that the kids say these days.)

Available at https://www.diagnostic-guru.com/product-page/superpowercape

When my daughter’s cape arrived, the prototype, I left the package on our table. She’s overly curious about the recipient of any package that graces our front doorstep, so she pounced on it the second she got home from school. Tearing into it before I could even get fully in the door, she inhaled audibly as she pulled out the pink silky material and saw the word “Kindness” screen printed on the back.

She whipped around and half shouted, “It’s a cape! Like for a superhero! Where did you get this?” (always an accusation 🙄)

“It’s for you,” I said. “We’re making them for Diagnostic Guru because kindness IS a superpower and all superheroes need a cape. Duh.” Two can play at this game.

“Can I put it on?” she asked, already pulling out the mask and pulling it over her eyes.

“Of course,” I smirked, basking in a moment of pride that she actually liked something I created.

The rest of the night was spent running the twenty feet between our front door and deck door to feel the cape fly behind her.

I don’t often feel like I’ve done anything right when parenting. I’m usually aiming for “haven’t fucked up today”, so the bar is pretty low, but every now and again…I score a bullseye. And watching the way my daughter allowed a private moment between her and I to become a public spectacle that she now proudly wears around the neighborhood confirmed my inclination.

Kids need to feel powerful. They need to know that who they are matters. And as they get older, especially, they need every excuse to don a mask, scream like a banshee, and race down the street on the off chance they might. just. FLY.

Substack is not a platform that I typically use for selling. Not because I have any aversion to that, just because I need a place for my creative self to play, no strings attached. But, this one’s different. I think we’re doing something good here, something generative, something genuine.

So, if there’s a little in your life that you think would revel in knowing and owning their superpower, please consider buying them a cape. Use SUBSTACK10 for 10% off your entire order, and please send me pictures of the superhero they become when they don their own cape and mask.

Introducing Compassion and Sixth Sense!

I appreciate this community more than you could ever know, for being the medium that helped me figure out my own superpower; for understanding, fully, the critical importance of continuing to create art through shame, hurt, and fear; and for supporting each other’s crazy ventures, particularly those that are trying to change the world…for the better.

With great power comes great responsibility.

- Spiderman