Joy Bombs
Little bursts of sublime that make life tolerable
Last night, I experienced a joy bomb. I was lying in bed nursing my second glass of wine, feeling bad about drinking said glass, and catching up with my besties via text. “Catching up” is a euphemism for bitching about kids, husbands, dieting, exercise, the weather, pants with buttons, and generally everything in between. And then it happened.
One friend dangled this suggestive statement…“I’m going to be in _________ (the city friend #2 lives in) for work in April.” All it took was that little nugget, and my fingers flew to the Southwest app. How to get myself (friend #3) to the same city on the same dates but for free (ie. on points) without compromising the family calendar or mission critical work commitments? 3 minutes later, I typed “Booking now”, and got this in response…
“Manifesting the joy bombs!” I mean, yes, yeeeeeeeesssssss!
Joy is such a big word.
It’s such an overwhelming goal to exist in a state of joy. Partially because I’m not quite sure what would be required to achieve a state of joy, much less to stay there. It’s almost comical what pops out of the Google machine when you search “achieving a state of joy.” This is my favorite quote from a 2022 Harvard Business Review article on finding joy during difficult times.
Loss of joy may be a sign of a mental health problem — or it may be a normal response
Sooooo, not experiencing this elusive thing called joy means I’m either suffering from a mental illness OR I’m just a normal joy-less shmuck? Fabulous.
To be fair to this article, it is trying to help, and offers reasonable, regularly repeated advice.
Exercise
Volunteer
Meditate
Learn something
Practice joy (this one is curious to me because how do you practice something you don’t know how to do, but whatevs)
And when all else fails, medicate
Sans #6, I’ve tried all of the above both during difficult times and completely mundane, “normal” times. And they help keep me from drowning, but I’m not certain they inspire what Theopedia defines as “a settled state of contentment, confidence, and hope.” But I’d love to get there because that sure does sound lovely.
So, in an effort to add what I’ve learned about joy to the body of literature out there, I’m going to take the liberty of amending the above list to add a #7. Joy bombs.
Let’s define “joy bomb”. I’d say it’s a moment of unexpected divine deliciousness that forces a smile up from the inside, fills you with satisfaction, and leaves you flush with possibility.
And then it dissipates. Sometimes the feeling stays for awhile, warming you in the aftermath. Other times it’s gone as quickly as it came, a blitzkrieg of victory with an even swifter exit.
It’s fast and effective but impermanent. And that’s okay.
I went to bed happy last night. Not because I achieved some permanent state of bliss. But because I allowed that moment of friendship to permeate all my 10,000 parts. I let it fill me up - the excitement of the trip, the laughter at the text exchange, the spontaneity of a late night flight booking, the contentment of knowing beautiful humans love me. It’s not a “settled state” and it won’t ward off whatever shit today will bring. But for now, it’s enough.
I think that’s what I’m learning about joy. Sometimes, it’s not a state to be achieved. It’s just enough. For now.