It's Happening!
The Monks, the questions, and the change that's coming
My teeth chattered as I held her against me.
I took the blanket, her blanket, the blue one covered in popcorn buckets and soda cups, off of my shoulders. I wrapped it around her, pulling her body close to mine as we stood, eyes fixed, watching the slow moving procession.
One hand held the blanket tight around her slim body. The other clutched the stems of the flowers I’d brought. An offering.
“Mom, I can feel you shaking,” she complained lightly, turning her head to look at me.
My whole body shivered violently, chilled to the core after an hour and a half of standing on a roadside.
As they approached, I felt her attention lock in. She went silent…and still. As did the world around me. Later, video of the moment belied my inner quiet, as sirens sounded and people yelled, but I heard nothing.
The first figure walked by, wrinkled eyes under simple glasses smiling slightly, but focused on the way forward.
The next face passed, a neck scarf covering his mouth and throat, obscuring everything but his eyes. Those eyes touched mine, and his gloved hand reached out to accept my gift.
A hooded face followed, gentle and warm. His movement drew him closer to my daughter, and he reached out to hand her a single rose. Wrapped tightly in the blanket I still clutched around her, I took it on her behalf. But his eyes never left her face.
The flag bearer passed. A simple job, but exhausting to hold anything upright in this cold, this wind.
One after the other, fifteen peace bearers processed by us. The crowd closed in around them, desperate to be nearer, invading their space, dangerously so. But they never faltered, never broke stride, never panicked. Everyone around them did…the cops, their handler, people with cameras bearing down on them like animals.
They just kept walking. Their message, and their purpose, unequivocal. “Slowly, gently, persistently - not through grand gestures but through ten thousand small acts of love - we can help make the world more peaceful.”
Twenty seconds. The entire passage took twenty seconds. And the second the final monk crossed my path, the world slid back into focus. I saw the people, the cars, the madness, and felt my body shake and shiver. My husband and I shuffled our daughter, still blanket bound, back to the car. I sat in the driver’s seat, vibrating against the cushion as my body struggled to regulate its temperature. The parking lot became a cacophony of honks and beeps and revs as all of the people there to witness this moment tried pointlessly to edge their way out and get on with their day.
We sat. And as the warmth started flooding back into my body, I smiled from the inside.
This Walk for Peace by the Buddhist monks of Huong Dao Vipassana Bhavana Center in Fort Worth has crossed 10 states and will have covered 2,300 miles. By the time they complete the circle back home to Fort Worth, they will have been on the road, quite literally, for 110 days.
They are so clear in their understanding of what they are doing…and what they are not. “...Not to force peace upon the world, but to help nurture it, one awakened heart at a time.”
Fascinating. This mission, this method, these monks. I have so many questions.
What does peace look like to you? What does it feel like?
As a culture, we seem to be much more drawn to assholery, greed, violence, and fear. Why do you think peace is so hard for most of us?
How do we perpetuate peace in our own little squares of the world so we can knit together this blanket of peace collectively? And “blanket of peace”, that sounded good in my head, does it sound hokey to you?
What’s with the flowers? And should I like bronze the rose you gave my kid?
Aren’t you freaking cold? Does peace make you impervious to weather? Or is there some serious Patagonia under that robe?
What do you think about for all those miles?
Aren’t you tired of people? I’d be straight decking somebody by now. How do you have the energy for all of that?
What brings you joy? Do monks even do joy?
Sadly, I can’t interview the Monks. And even if I could, I expect their answers would be all Buddha-like and leave us with more questions. They are the inventors of meditation, after all. I feel like there’d be a lot of “sit with that”, which would equate to me staring at the ceiling at 2:34am for the next month while my brain tried to wrap itself around that axle.
BUT, what if I could ask my burning questions of the most fascinating people I do know or those who will at least answer my emails? What if through my questions, you got to know them too? Their work, their whys, their what the fucks?
And, in the spirit of the Monks, what if this series isn’t about forcing fascination on the world, but nurturing it, one more-interesting-than-you-expected person at a time.
I’ve been trying to figure out how to share with you the writers here on Substack who fascinate me. I wanted to do it in an authentic way, to not just restack their stories, but to climb into them and wriggle free what’s underneath. Like, an aggressive game of hide-and-seek except less Hunger Games-y and more Truth-or-Dare-esque.
My original idea was to share these people with you through interviews, which I am going to do, but the Monks helped me realize that there are people well beyond the walls of Substack whose work fascinates me too. Work that has nothing to do with writing. So, guess what, we’re including them as well! Fun, right?!?
I’ve also felt called (intense, I know) to bring Joy to a bigger stage. I want to meet all of her friends and find out how she shows up in other people’s lives. I keep asking myself, what am I missing by only talking about my Joy? Might as well find out together. You’ve come this far with me.
So, I’m officially launching a new series. We’re gonna call it Fascinated for now because I’ve spent way too much time already trying to come up with a catchy name, and, clearly, it hasn’t worked. This new series is something I’ve been noodling on for awhile, in part, because it’s going to take more time. And that’s something none of us have a ton of. Which is why the bigger part of me has been sitting on this because I sincerely value your time, and I want to bring you something to read, to listen, to watch that reflects that.
From what you have told me, and from Substack’s sad excuse for data, I know that most of you read this in the morning, usually before 9am. You’re reading with your morning coffee or listening on your way to work. It’s how you know its Wednesday...Hump Day…my favorite day of the week. You’re welcome.
Some of you comment publicly, and some of you reach out to me privately, but you make a point to tell me when something I said made you laugh, think, cry, feel, or when you’re just worried about me because I sound like I’m losing it.
You like substance mixed with levity, authenticity laced with F-bombs, exploration that doesn’t always have an ending.
You have extensive empathy, and you must be going through some shit yourselves, because you show up when I throw up my hardest moments on the page.
You also love Joy. She’s become our collective mascot, and while we wish that girl would commit to wearing an AirTag so we’d never lose her, finding her with you has been so much fun.
SO, the more I get to know about you, the more committed I am to bringing you something you value. That’s important to me. And that’s my intention with this series.
The first Fascinated interview is coming next week. The full interview will be behind a paywall, which I’m going to turn on this week (see button 👇). That’s because there are many ways to show appreciation for valuable work, and money is one of them. It’s also because this series isn’t just practice for me, it’s craft, and I believe, respectfully, that we should all pay for the crafts we consume.
If you would like to stay a free subscriber, I would be THRILLED. Don’t do a thing! You will still receive the full text version of any post that’s not part of the Fascinated series. If you cannot afford a subscription or if money is in any way getting in your way, please reach out to me directly. That’s not the point of this…and never will be.
Thank you for your continued support. I write, you read, it’s really a magical thing that continues to humble me. I hope you will choose to be Fascinated with me. There are so many cool people in the world with so many of their own F-bombs to share. Let’s go find them!
OMG! What an experience seeing the Monks! I was sitting in the comfort of a heated living room and I still got shivers and tears 💗The "change that's coming" is super cool, Jess, and only you could be doing this - it will be fascinating indeed! I look forward to the Fascinated Series! xx
I love that you are exploring fascination, Jess! It's such a great word and feeling. And those monks - talk about fascinating!
You called out peace and asked what it feels like. I feel my heart open and feel light, expand throughout my body, and out into the world. I think that part of why we (you!) stand in the frigid cold to witness and engage with the monks as they walk, is that they embody peace. In doing that, they are sending it out into the world, soundlessly, heart to heart. It's a beautiful thing...!