GAH. I adore this. AUTHENTICITY is the word. I was a stickler for the rules for years...if they only applied to others, and I was the police. I was teacher's pet, and know it all, and very arrogant about the way things "should" be done. That attitude leaks in from time to time, but I'm finally growing into my authentic self and that is SO liberating. Love you, Jess....now on to Part 2! xo
It is SO liberating, perfect word, Nan. I think I used the rules and my “integrity” as a way of making sure I was okay. My external world felt chaotic and undone, so I made sure I was not. But that meant I shoved a bunch of other people and things and situations outside of my “okay” box and pointed a righteous finger at them when that really was never my intention at all. I just wanted to make sure I was in the okay box. It never occurred to me that I get to define the box. 😉
I hear you, completely. For me it was a form of control with the intention of keeping me "safe," whatever that means. And to keep me apart from others, because very little felt safe to me. Fear is an illusion and when I was a kid I had no way of understanding that, because the world and the way I perceived it was extremely black and white. People in program say "I'm no longer living in the black and white, now I'm living in the gray." I say "I'm no longer living in the black and white, and now I'm living in the RAINBOW!" Why be gray when you can be colorful??? xo
That last line made me think of a book called "Sylvie: The Colorful Flamingo." Sylvie figures out that her color is determined by what she eats, ie. she's pink because she eats shrimp, so she goes on an eating rampage and at one point says, "Why wear flowers on just your head, when you can be a whole bouquet?!?" and downs a flowered hat. It's my favorite line in the book and the same sentiment. Rainbows and flowers, so much better than gray!
I love to witness you finding the right words to shape your vision for what comes next. And I love your care and attention in finding the just-right word and knowing how to articulate that in a way that matters. Very excited for you as you move forward into this new way of seeing yourself and your mission. 🥰
Thank you Jamie. I’ve never been so careful with words before, but these gentle shifts I’ve been making are the product of diving in to specificity, something I’ve never bothered with before but it’s making a huge difference.
GAH. I adore this. AUTHENTICITY is the word. I was a stickler for the rules for years...if they only applied to others, and I was the police. I was teacher's pet, and know it all, and very arrogant about the way things "should" be done. That attitude leaks in from time to time, but I'm finally growing into my authentic self and that is SO liberating. Love you, Jess....now on to Part 2! xo
It is SO liberating, perfect word, Nan. I think I used the rules and my “integrity” as a way of making sure I was okay. My external world felt chaotic and undone, so I made sure I was not. But that meant I shoved a bunch of other people and things and situations outside of my “okay” box and pointed a righteous finger at them when that really was never my intention at all. I just wanted to make sure I was in the okay box. It never occurred to me that I get to define the box. 😉
I hear you, completely. For me it was a form of control with the intention of keeping me "safe," whatever that means. And to keep me apart from others, because very little felt safe to me. Fear is an illusion and when I was a kid I had no way of understanding that, because the world and the way I perceived it was extremely black and white. People in program say "I'm no longer living in the black and white, now I'm living in the gray." I say "I'm no longer living in the black and white, and now I'm living in the RAINBOW!" Why be gray when you can be colorful??? xo
That last line made me think of a book called "Sylvie: The Colorful Flamingo." Sylvie figures out that her color is determined by what she eats, ie. she's pink because she eats shrimp, so she goes on an eating rampage and at one point says, "Why wear flowers on just your head, when you can be a whole bouquet?!?" and downs a flowered hat. It's my favorite line in the book and the same sentiment. Rainbows and flowers, so much better than gray!
If I could turn hot pink (brand color) I'd eat more shrimp too. xo
I love to witness you finding the right words to shape your vision for what comes next. And I love your care and attention in finding the just-right word and knowing how to articulate that in a way that matters. Very excited for you as you move forward into this new way of seeing yourself and your mission. 🥰
Thank you Jamie. I’ve never been so careful with words before, but these gentle shifts I’ve been making are the product of diving in to specificity, something I’ve never bothered with before but it’s making a huge difference.
It shows. You’re shining through. 💜✨