A Joy Interview - Ruby
A dog's perspective on joy
When you ask people what brings them joy, dogs come up a lot. I get that. They’re furry. They believe in unconditional love. They don’t talk back. And they’re always happy to see you. And while these things have been universally true for my first two Rhodesian Ridgebacks, I would have told you their emotional value in my life was more along the lines of life preserver than joy generator. My first Ridgeback, Tulie, truly saved me from a wealth of bad decisions and persistent melancholy after the end of my 10-year relationship. Zeus, the first Ridgeback my husband and I owned together, is officially listed as my husband’s “emotional support dog” on his military retirement papers (This is total bullshit, btw, but they didn’t ask for documentation and its ecumenically true even if the technicalities are fuzzy).
But Ruby. Oh Ruby. The baby of our pack is pure joy. She hasn’t saved a thing, but she is the definition of a joy💣. So, for this month’s joy interview and in honor of National Dog Day, I thought it appropriate to ask her thoughts on joy.
Disclaimer: Ruby is a dog. She did not actually say anything in this interview. The following dialogue is a complete figment of my imagination. But I’m pretty sure it’s spot on.
Q: Thanks for taking a walk with me. I know how much you love the dog park, so I thought this would be the perfect place for us to chat. So, what is your favorite part of the dog park?
A: Smells…Water…Other dogs…Silence
Q: What do you think is your weirdest joy?
A: Hmmm…good question. It’s gotta be butt sniffing. Like, it feels invasive at first, but it’s kind of nice to know another pup wants to get to know you that intimately. I love meeting other dogs, so a new sniff definitely brings me joy. Once we get to know each other…then it’s just weird.
Q: Since you can’t talk, at least in the traditional sense, how do people know you are experiencing joy? What’s the “tell”?
A: I have a joyful tongue.
(Me interjecting) A joyful tongue?
Yup. My tongue is super long and so when I get to playing and having a really good time, it just flops out of my mouth and waggles when I run. It’s my joy call sign.
Q: You always seem SO excited to meet new dog friends. Do all dogs bring you joy or only certain breeds?
A: For the most part, I’m equal opportunity, but poodles just aren’t my favorite. They just seem stuck up, ya know, like just because their fur doesn’t fall off, they’re better than everybody else. I’d rather stick with the shedders. We know we’re not perfect, and we’re all okay with that.
Q: In your opinion, what’s the opposite of joy?
A: Doing tricks on command for treats. I don’t want to come when you call. There’s a lot to sniff in this big wide world, and the constant calling me back makes me lose my sniffing spot. Also, I don’t like getting my butt dirty, so if we could just save the sit thing for inside, I’d be good to go.
(Me with the follow-up question) So, why do you bother? It’s not like I can catch you.
Because treats bring me joy. It’s a joy dilemma.
Q: What brings you joy when you’re not at the dog park?
A: This is a tough one because so very many things bring me joy, but my top three have to be…
Looking for Charlie. She’s my mini-owner, and she’s my size, so that’s super fun for me. I like to boop her in the face, especially in the morning when she’s just waking up. She hides her face in the blanket so I can’t find it, but then it’s even more fun to aggressively attack her with my snout.
Doughnuts! I loooooooove doughnuts. I’m pretty sure they’re not the same as human doughnuts, but my Dad has tried a bite before, so who knows?
Napping. I didn’t used to be a fan of naps. I’d take a power nap here and there just to get my energy back, but I’m starting to appreciate the joy of just racking out for several hours.
Q: Any final words on joy?
A: I know I have an abundance of energy and sometimes people wish I would just calm down. But there is so much to do and see in life, so many animals to chase, so many dogs to meet, so many people’s faces to lick, and when I’m stuck in the house, I just feel like I’m missing out. I have a serious case of FOMO.
But my one constant is my brother. He lets me chew on his ears when I’m nervous or bored. He growls and jumps and boxes and wrestles with me. And he’ll even tell me to shut the fuck up if I’m being too loud or obnoxious. But then he’ll snuggle with me. He protects me when we’re out in the dog park and, yes, occasionally he humps me, but I think that’s just what he does when nothing else is working. My brother brings me joy. He’s my best friend.
So my one piece of advice on joy is to get yourself a best friend. One that will participate in your joy, even when they don’t want to. One that doesn’t mind being your pillow or sharing their bed. One that feels like home.
The idea for this interview came to me when I started thinking about the embodiment of joy, what it physically looks like in a body. As I started watching the world around me for clues, I noticed Ruby’s body, namely because it’s impossible not to notice Ruby’s body. It moves constantly; it’s like a Jell-O mold gone wild. Even when she’s not moving, she’s always touching someone, namely Zeus, a bodily anchor to joy even while she’s sleeping.
These days, I’m 97.5% words and a scant 2% body in expressing my emotions. The remaining 0.5% is reserved for the few times I ugly cry, a Venn diagram overlap that usually involves attempting words while snotting on myself. This wasn’t always the case. I was a dancer growing up and that body communicated fully with the audience, sometimes so much so they told me to “tone it down” (not exaggerating). So what happened?
Ruby’s bodily joy makes me want to explore that question further. From her signature tongue to her lip twitches to her nose boop, her body tells her story. Words are unnecessary. Her meaning is abundantly clear.
If you have thoughts about what joy looks like in a body, I’d love for you to leave a comment.
I’ll be writing more about this soon, so subscribe now to make sure you don’t miss it.
And if you are in the DMV and looking for a dog park where there is, admittedly, butt sniffing, but also lots of water stations, creek access, and generally friendly and attentive people who come with their dogs, check out Shirlington Dog Park. It’s a gem.
